Well life must be good, over 2 months since my last Blog, I couldn't possibly write down all that has happened over that time but doors are certianly opening all around me.  I have been offered a travel consultancy job when I move back to Brisbane and can start when ever I want.  I'm looking at heading back hopefully a little sooner than first thought, can not wait to get out of this place.  Life feels somewhat stagnated at the moment and I'm far too young to be just 'plodding' along with boredom waiting for my life to restart again.  On the other hand by me wading my time here I am able to save more and more money so I am not pressured into going back home and starting work straight away.  Am thinking of taking a good 2 or 3 months off and just relaxing.  I'm definetly going to the Australian Open in January to watch the all time greatest tennis player Mr Rodger Federer and I want to spend all christmas new years with my family which would be difficult if I was to start a job straight away.  So that's my plan.. My trip back in May was interesting to say the least.  No Riley around which was a little disappointing but I had so much fun anyway.  My August trip (4 weeks away) is just around the corner and it's going to be a little longer trip this time a whole 4 days lol... I'm bringing another one of my girlfriends with me this time. It should be great!!.. No news on the male frontage.. I'm going out and having  ball but the last thing on my mind is to meet someone just in time before I head off again not that I'm not open to that option but it hasn't obvioulsy been in the pipelines.  It's my girlfriends Bec's birthday tomorrow so I'm heading out to a surprise dinner for her tonight, should be good.  My mind has just run blank with ideas to write so I guess that's all I need to vent at this point in time.

O.k, only 4 more sleeps till my trip away.. I'm soo looking forward to it, can't you tell!!.. my brother called me up last night and he is surprisingly excited as well.. I could really hear in his voice that he needs to talk to me this weekend about our future business prospects and also some emotional issues himself that he's going threw.. My girlfriend Michelle is emailling me everyday with a 'sleep; countdown too. It's impossible to over emphasis how great Friday night is going to be.. Last weekend just gone I found out I have a secret admirerer... I don't actually know who it is but my girlfriend Bec has a male footy guy who she's been associating with off late and it's one of his mates apparently.. Every time Bec & I go out and catch up with James (Bec's mate)  it's usually after a game he's played that day.  Apparently James let it slip over the weekend when talking to Bec that he's mate "Kevin" is obsessed with me - sounds scary huh.. to use such a strong word to someone I really can't recall even talking too.. From what Bec has told me, he's seen me with her and James and that's how he knows me.. Not only that but that cutie that works behind the bar gave me the nicest compliment, (threw bec mind you, but it was nice nevertheless) We were waiting at the bar to grab a couple of waters and bec being bec pushes her way to the front like she owns the place (a little rude actually) and when she see's the cutie - Ben (she did used to work with him many a moon ago), anyway I'm not too impressed by the way she just expects him to drop everything and serve her straight away,, it was really busy at the bar and I tried to pull her back (people around us weren't too impressed either).. Nevertheless ben served her promptly and as she's gone to grab the waters and head off I turned around and said 'Hey Ben', (he looked up at me) and I mouthed 'thankyou' with an apologetic look on my face.. He then quickly got Bec's attention back again and she went back to bar.. I headed back to our group.. Bec followed shortly after and said ' What did you say to Ben?' I replied ' I just said thankyou again  - you know for serving us so quickly'. She said well when he called me back he said to me 'She is just gorgeous isn't she!'.Bec said, he was talking about you..   I was quite surprised.. happily thou.. It's sad in a way, all i did was do what I thought was right and Bec's behaviour at the bar is sometimes a little rude - like she owns the joint. and I was basically apologising  for her.  So he of course knows I heard that compliment, so I was on bloody edge everytime I had to get a drink, half praying he wouldn't serve me and the other half hoping he would.. There was one or 2 awkward moments throughout the night, all stemming from bloody nervousness on both our parts.. Really silly & funny on reflection. Cute & yet so high school..Anyway, on another note, saving is going well, did buy a new pair of shoes last week but I'd already budgeted for that, and pay day this week I'm putting more money away in the savings kitty... At this rate i'll be able to save $1000 a month.. if not more... I'm thinking off seeing my tarot reader on friday again, remember back in January I went and she told me I was going to meet someone with kids - dark haired and slightly older.. Could that be Riley?... I'd be lieing if I didn't say that that thought certianly has crossed me mind.  I'm definetly surprised at how often I have caught myself thinking about him, and not just because I'm going back to Brisbane this weekend... so like much of my life at the moment.. it's time to simply Go with the Flow.....

I can't believe a little over a month ago I was so far behind the eight ball with my saving and now I am well in truly in front.  It hasn't been that difficult, more just discipline!.. I have still be going out on the weekends but just not spending as frivioulously.. Also as I am heading to brisbane next weekend, I am trying to not spend each weekly entertainment allowance so I have more money to enjoy when I'm celebrating my brothers birthday.  Have not heard from Riley but am getting a little excited to see him again.. not like head over heels or anything more intrigued.. My girlfriend Michelle is letting me, my brother & his girfriend stay at her house on the friday night as we are heading in to the city to party and she lives really close by.  My brother and girlfriend are going to dinner first & we'll catch up with them after that.. My brother has since told me that the whole 'gang' will be meeting up with him later that night yet I haven't found out if that includes Riley or not.  I'm not phased if he doesn't go and it would be great if he does.. Either way I'm just so glad to be spending a night out with my bro.. He's normally working every friday/saturday night I come and visit and I'm really looking forward to catching up with him.. I am really itching to move back home now thou.. and my savings is going so well,  by the end of June I will have saved all the money I need to completly move up their transportation wise and all expenses including paying my 'early' leave contracts for phone & cable tv subscription.. Every dollar I save after that is purely savings and will allow me to 'chill' out for about a month or so once I move back..I can't wait... On the friendship front, a couple of my girlfriends have had a falling out with each other which is sad, but at least they're not trying to be fake about the relationship and pretending nothing is wrong.. Nothing worse than fake people I say..  Well that's all that's happening at the moment write soon.

O.k, this saving thing is harder than I thought!!.. I've made a big decision at my most difficult financial time.  I've just had to pay $2000. in the last 3 weeks (my spa & pergola) and was getting quite deflated by my 'savings' plan being put on hold!.. I figure by the end of May - yes another bloody 5 weeks I should start to see my bank balance finally going up in the right direction.  I have decided to give myself goals which reward me for my efforts.  For example by the end of may I have used my frequent flyer points to head up to brisbane again for my brothers birthday.  It has only cost me $60 in taxes and I have already taken the $60 from my allowance last weekend to pay for that.  I have only got $50.00 for entertainment this weekend and have really pulled back on the credit card spending - only using it for fuel & occassional bottle of alcohol.  i have always & will always pay my credit card balance off in full when it's due.. I hate paying interest and my motto is that if I can't pay off the amount on my credit card by due date, I shouldn't be using it.. I have a great rewards program with the card I have which is how I can fly home so often without it costing me an arm and a leg!. Interestingly enough have been going threw some major emotional conflicts.. enjoying the excitement of moving home and the realisation that when I do move back a lot of work is to be done and I mean  A LOT!!..  I can pretty much predict that I'm not going to be the most 'popular' person sometimes with my 'get up and go' attitude and of things getting done NOW!.. I hate wasting time.. Anyway, no real news relating to men at this time.. one or two cute flirtations at the club (another bloody bar staff), but certainly not going back there again.. It's just too much hard work!.. I have such a different attitude too now when I go out.. Obviously my goal & direction of moving back home is the key component to that but I'm really appreciating every opportunity of hanging out with my girlfriends, knowing full well that there is only 6-8months left of our friendships being so 'tight' and 'convenient'. It's certainly been a pretty big adjustment for me to go and out and spend very little money.. but it's just the way things are going to have to be for a little while yet.  I figure I'll do this savings for about 5 months, and the last month or so that I'm here, I'll splurge a little when I go out with the girls,, i'll just have to see.   A lot of water under the bridge between now and then!..

Funny how this blog is so incredibly tame and might I add 'boring' I guess life & it's excitements just have to take a back seat when you're not spending money!.

Well long time no write...Can not believe it's been 3 weeks since my last blog, soo much has happened and I just don't know where to start... I suppose I should finish the old and end with the new.. Roger is long gone, not sure If I mentioned this earlier, but the club were I used to meet up with him is where he actually worked and he has now left that job.  Was a very interesting ending.. he told my girlfriend and I that after he left the job he would love to come out with us but all that seemed to be all talk no action.  The last night he was working he was drinking on the sly and on the job and let's just say that by the end of the night he made some pretty bold advances to me which were so riddled with confusion that I, as per usual, couldn't tell if he was serious or not.  Anyway to cut a very very long story short, after his last night I text him the next day without response.  I think he may have regretted what he said to me the night before and has just decided to wipe the slat and pretend nothing ever happened, which in all honesty nothing did happen but hey it was still fun.. no regrets.  I have since had two very pleasurable experiences with a male stripper I've known for about 6 months.. that was fun, and more recently my trip over easter was well, interesting to say the least.. My girlfriend and I decided  to head back to my home town  to see my family and friends and oh my gosh... what a ball we had.. me in particular.. One of my brothers friends who I have known for 5 years ( yes another brothers friends, he's a very popular guy).. well I he's been married for 4 years and with his partner for 10 years and he's only 29!!!. She is 35.. Well he came to visit me on Saturday while my brother was up at my parents house and it was great to catch up with him.  Did I mention that he's hot too!! lol.. Anyway my girlfriend and I had to go do some grocery shopping so we left and he said (let's call him riley).. hey girls when you're finished shopping come down to my place later, we're going to have a bbq and spa (yes he has a spa too.).. so we said sure.. love to.  Anyway went to his place that arvo, my brother was there too and a couple of other guys I've known, we had a few drinks, a lovely relaxing spa and after that my brother had to go to work (he works at a bar part time). My girlfriend and I were planning to go out to town that night and leave from rileys place and as we were discussing our night Riley told me & few other people at the bbq that he and his wife had been separated for a couple of months.  They have 2 little children, the eldest being 3 and a baby around 9 months old.. I was absolutley flawed.. It was obvious from his non emotional state that the break up had been a long time coming and he was literally very casual about the whole thing.. Like it was a natural progression.. Anyway my girlfriend Bec got a little too intoxicated that arvo - on reflection we think it was because she drank on antihistamines and ended up being really sick.. Riley and I and another mate Trevor were going to head to my brothers bar for a few drinks because bec wasn't up to going out so Riley offered her to stay at his place and rest up (be sick in the comfort of herself) which she gladly accepted.. I've never seen her so sick.. it just didn't make any sense.  So we headed of to the bar and had a few drinks, I spoke to my brother and told him how surprised I was about the riley's separation and he looked at my face and said sarcastically ' yeah I can really see how disappointed you are.. you're just so sad''... How on earth did he know that I was that attracted to riley.. was it on a sign board on my forehead!!.. Before this time I hadn't even thought of Riley in that sense,  mind you I was always in my past relationship even when I first met riley so maybe my single actions and aura gave off different signals now.. So the next thing, riley and I were at a pokie machine and out of left field he says to me ' so, later tonight, are we going to have sex in the spa!'.. Strangely enough, I wasn't at all surprised by the comment but made out that I was and replied ' you're quite forward aren't you?'.. he replied ' so ... how about it'.. I said ' maybe, we'll see/'.  He turned his head back towards the pokie machine and with a slow shake of the head and a cheeky grin he said.. cool'.  I then continued the conversation with ' I had no idea that you liked me like that?.  since when?.'  he said ' hmm, for the last couple of times you've been up!,  what, you've never thought about it, you & me!,'.. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.. I mean this is a guy who has been in a long term relationship for 9 years!!.. not to mention that the last couple of times I was up (and he had actually seen me) would be over at least 2 years at least!!!.. I seriously must have massive blinkers on when I'm in a relationship.. I did not see his interest in me like that at all..... I replied to him with ' well, to be honest when I'm in a relationship I don't really look at other guys and go ..hmm wonder what he'd be like in bed, I mean If I see a guy that's cute I think hmmm you're hot, but that's as far as my thoughts go..'  '' He nodded his head in approval of my answer'.  Don't get me wrong this guy is great and just re reading my last paragraph, I have made it sounds like he was willing to cheat on his wife with me but I assure you that he's not that way inclined.. He was just reiterating to me that now that we're both single, the option was available to us and that he'd been thinking about it... Trust me, I sussed all that out before anything happened.

So... after the legalties of that were smoothed I said to him.. Riley, there's only 1 problem, I don't think you can keep a secret... I wouldn't want to tell my brother!... he said he would probably have to tell him.. they are best mates and tell each other everything.. I said I was a little uncomfortable with that and he replied.. O.k, if that's how you want to handle it.. no problems

So as fate would have it the night turned into the wee hours of the morning and riley & I had managed to get back to his place without suspicion as 'bec' was still there amongst my brother and his mates, we played it really cool and I think we managed to cover up our little love affair!!..

So that weekend was so funny after that, my brother had no idea and he kept pushing me onto riley (he must have known riley has like me for a while).  Bec and I came home and we were absolutly exhausted..  By friday that week I had decided that my brother probably should know what happened.  I figured riley would tell him eventually - probably one night when he's drunk and thought it would be best if the news came from me.  So I rang him up and told him... the reaction I got was quite shocking: I said,, Um.. I have a little secret you should probably know about.. I slept with Riley on the weekend.. his response was : Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy....

I asked if he already knew.. he replied, no, but it was obvious... I said.. when? How?.. he said Saturday night at work!.... I told him that I didn't start anything and that it was riley who approached me... I also let him know that riley wanted to tell him and that It was me that said not to say anything!.. my brother said it was all good and not to worry, I asked him not to say anything to mum/dad etc, and he said of course not!..

So after the phone call I thought, shit, I better give riley the heads up that my brother actually knows or that could leave for some interesting conversation the next time those two catch up.. I text him and told him I'd let my brother know and that my brother just laughed at me... I added in a couple of humourous lines to lighten up the text and after I sent it to him, it was literally 10 seconds later that I got a response ' U r 2 funny'.. I didn't bother replying back and left it at that.. Since then I have spoken to my brother asking if he had spoken to riley yet and he said no, but not to worry.. it's 'no big deal'... I know that, but I just wanted to reiterate that it was most likely a 'one-off' and that everything will be cool next time I visit...

Speaking of visiting, a couple of days ago , I started to realise how home sick I was and for the first time in 5 years could actually entertain the thought of moving back home and that it was a 'real' option for me.. So on a whim, I've decided to move back home.. It has absolutly nothing to do with Riley (learnt that mistake from my last relationship). I just realised that Sydney has nothing left for me apart from a handful of girlfriends and a business I'm beginning to resent as I'm doing all the work and gettin paid very little for my efforts.. I figure I'll be able to start up my own business in a place I actually enjoy living at with people surrounded by me that are family... I'm not planning to move until the end of the year, maybe sooner, depending on how much money I am able to save up but it will most likely be before christmas!.. I'm really really excited about it.. murpheys law will probably intervene and I'll end up meeting some guy just weeks before leaving lol... but this time I ain't going to be held back by that.. like my mum says, if that happens and he wants me, he'll know where to find me.. Well I better fly, I know I've left out heaps of other stuff that has happened but at least I've put written most of the exciting stuff...